Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Lailatul Qadar

Hi! Today I feel better. Last night I slept at 12 o'clock (finished my SAP) and got up at 4.15 to prepare some food for sahur. I was like zombie at school. Really sleepy. What is our topic tonight, oh ya Lailatul Qadar. Before that, I must get back my old self. I hate my bad temper. I made a big mistake to my new friend this month. I apologised to her already but I felt so embarrased. I don't like my attitude. I should change. I was not the cool person like before. I felt terrible. So, this Ramadhan I will try to change. Better silent than say something that can hurt someone's feeling. It is so easy to hurt people with my words but I felt so bad after that. Now about Lailatul Qadar. How to say this? I had that experience when I was in my third year. The night, I forgot (May be 23 or 25 Ramadhan). Our hostel was U shape. My room was the last one whereas the study room was the first room. I went to the study room at 12 something, alone. Need to study for the exam. When I reached that room, I saw a few students studying. Then. the girls said something that it might be lailatul Qadar night. I just didn't bother. I didn't think I could get it because I was not that good. Wearing jeans all the time, just did the compulsory ones only (praying and fasting). They left me alone. I continued studying. After one hour or two, suddenly I felt that the room was full with people. I turned around but nobody there. I heard the sound of buzzing. So noisy. I was so scared that I ran away. From the study room , I ran like a crazy woman to my room. I did hit a few doors while running. Now, my hands are getting cold. It is atill a trauma to me when I remember it. I reached my room. Straightaway I went to my bed, shivering. I took my blanket and covered my body. Every body was sleeping. Then, I felt to urinate. I didn't want to go to the toilet because I was so scared that the water will be frozen. I couldn't bear it anymore, I just prayed to God. If the water was frozen, I would be dead. I was so happy to find out it was not frozen. When I washed my hands, I told myself it was a waste if I just slept. So, I took my ablution (air sembahyang) and performed solat hajat. After praying, I tried to wake up my room mates. I wanted to ask them to perform solat on that barokah night but nobody got up. I couldn't sleep so I read Quran until Suboh prayer. Then, I slept. When they performed their Suboh prayer, I told them it was lailatul Qadar that night. One girl said," Oghe mace kak lela mano boleh dapat lailatul Qadar." I just kept quiet. May be God wanted to show them, after Suboh the sky was so bright and cool at the same time. It was like the sky was open for the angels to go back. When the girls came back to the room, they said, "betullah, malam tadi malam lailatul Qadar." I just thank to God for letting me to go through with it although I will get cold feet when I remember that night. Until today, I don't know why God chose me to have that experience. May be I was so sure that I wouldn't get Lailatul Qadar and because of that I got it. Do you want to know my three wishes? They're sorry, my secret with my God, Allah. I think the buzzing sound that I heard was zikr from the angels. Just believe in God. Bye...

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